First day back

Well today was my first day back to work after being off since July 8th. The day went OK but I'm still having problems with bright lights. I came home with a headache. I had the building guy remove the florescence lights from above my desk and wore my sunglasses at times. Let's hope tomorrow goes a little better.

The drive was OK - I wasn't as shaky as I've been lately. I just need to ensure that I concentrate and be careful.

I still have the red rash all over my body and it is itchy, but I'm hoping that starts to go away soon. My chest is still red and sore.

Unfortunately due to my little "accident" I won't be able to go on my trip south with my friend Sheila. We were planning on a road trip to Missoula, Montana to do some shopping and have a nice little getaway. But since I can't drive and it was my turn, I had to cancel.

It was going to be the "Great 2009 Cracker Barrel Odyssey" trip. I had it all planned out. It is about an 8 hour drive from Calgary, but I had some stops arranged and we were going to stay in Whitefish the first day in a nice little motel called "Cheap Sleep Motel". We were also going to take the "Going-t0-the-Sun" road through Glacier National Park. It is supposed to be very scenic.

We were going to hit a lot of antique and quilt shops until we got to Missoula. Sheila wants an old fashioned rocking chair from The Cracker Barrel. I love that place. It has a great restaurant and nice shopping in the front. I really enjoyed it when we went to Texas in November. The fried catfish was great!

So now I have to come up with something to do for Sheila for making up for our trip. So any ideas out there, please feel free to offer them!

Snoopy hasn't been feeling well the past few days. Last night she was moaning and shaking. I had to hold her to calm her down. My poor little girl is getting old. She is 11 1/2 years and starting to show her age.

I remember when she was a puppy. She was a wild thing. There was one time when we were still out on the farm waiting for taking possession of our house. She was a little bugger and would always run and chase gophers, roll in horse poo etc. No matter how much I called, she would just keep running. That's the beagle in her..... always following her nose. She ran out on the road and a semi was coming straight at her. I thought she was a goner. She was lucky and the truck just missed her. Little devil.

One little slip...

... is all it takes. This year isn't my year for staying healthy. Back in March I slipped on some ice at a client's site and hurt my knee. I was in physio for 3 times a week for 6 weeks and it still isn't the same. Thank goodness Workers Compensation paid for that.

Last Wednesday.... I week ago to be exact, I was going down the stairs after feeding Paige and Snoopy at 4:30am. I missed the second last stair and hit my head. My head hurt like a dickens so I just sat there for a bit thinking if I pass out it is better to be in one place. Everything seemed to be OK so I went back to bed.

I woke up as per normal, had a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast and then started to drive to work. Last week my boss was on holidays so I was in charge. Things were going sour so I wanted to get to work early.

On the drive in, the pain in my lower right back started. It intensified so much that I almost passed out. I made it to work and thought I just needed to stretch. Just walking across the street to the office was horrific. I went and got my laptop and files I would need and headed for home thinking I'd work from home.

Again the pain worsened so I called my doctor's office to see if I could get in. They were not open yet but I left a message and headed straight there. I was lucky as I was the first patient of the day and was able to see her right away.

She examined me and said that I had a mild concussion and would have back pain due to the fall. The back was starting to freeze up and she gave me some Robaxacet with a prescription for stronger muscle relaxants if I needed it.

I went home and told mom & dad what happened. I laid in bed for a bit and could not for the life of me get comfortable so I took my first pill. Well the pill didn't last for very long as I threw that up quickly.

That whole day I couldn't get comfortable and the pain was excruciating. I had thrown up another 3 times and had mom take me to the Urgent Care centre.

We got to the Urgent Care centre at around 8pm got checked in and then had to wait. We waited and waited. I was in so much pain I wish they would have just put me out of my misery.

I was finally called and was taken into a room. The nurse - the worse nurse in the world - came in, took my vitals, asked what happened and then left. Even after I threw up the 5th time she didn't come back for a long while. Finally she did and gave me a clean dish to puke in if I needed it.

At around 11 pm the doctor finally came in. He again asked what happened, this time physically examined me and was sending me for some x-rays of my back. He also said he'd give me some medication for the pain and that I needed to be re hydrated. Well duh! I couldn't keep any food down, had thrown up 5 times and was sitting in a room for a good 3 hours with no water or anything.

So I had the x-rays and they came out normal. I then had 2 other grumpy nurses come in and take my vitals again and hook me up to the IV. They started me with saline, then something to calm my stomach down. Finally I was given a bag of Toradol but that didn't do the trick. The pain was still very intense. I think the nurses and doctor wanted to go home as they next came in with a shot of morphine. Well Ladies and Gentlemen, that surely did the trick.

Mom & I got home around 12:30am and I went to bed before the medication started to wear off and I couldn't get comfy nor sleep.

The next few days weren't much better. I had been given Tylenol 3s with codeine and oh by the way have I told you I wasn't able to have a bowel movement??? Also whenever I ate the pain intensified.

I finally had a bowel movement and boy did I feel 100 times better. The pain was gone in the back! I could handle the headache and dizziness now.

Monday I went to the doctor as the pain is still there and my bowel movements weren't the greatest. Also it burnt like heck when I peed. Yup, you guessed it - an urinary tract infection. Oh the joy!

So I got drugs for the UT infection and an appointment to have ultrasound on my kidneys and bladder. That is today. I've fasted and am ready to drink my 4 glasses of water before having to be at my appointment.

I've been off work this week (with a doctor's note) but have been worried about it all along.

So the moral of this story is that a little fall is very dangerous or painful.

Thunderstorms and Farts

Thunderstorms - Snoopy HATES them! She can hear them coming and she starts to pace, ears back and listening intently. As they get closer she starts to shake. I'm not sure what happened to her when she was little to make her afraid of thunderstorms but she is a complete wreck. She also then pees due to them.

Mom and I were in the office the other day when a storm was brewing. We had Snoopy in the room with us and I thought she'd be fine. But she then squatted down on the dog bed and peed! Good thing the bed was washable. I couldn't believe it. I had to get out one of her doggy diapers to put on her.

When I had to leave her and put the diapers on her, she would rip them to pieces and I'd come home to find a huge shredded mess to clean up. Also - you guessed it - a nice pee spot.

The only way to make Snoopy calm down and not pee is to literally squeeze and hold her. It is a sad sight - me squeezing Snoopy in my arms and physically laying on her. She still shakes and also whimpers but that is the only way I can keep her settled. What would Cesar Milan say about that!

Thursday night a storm blew in and I heard the bang. I jumped out of bed to find Snoopy to make sure she didn't pee anywhere. Thankfully she didn't. I grabbed her and took her back to bed. I had to squeeze her tight and lay on her for a good hour. The storm must have blown over as I woke up later with her in my arms still but me no longer squishing her.

I hear this coming up week is to be full of thunderstorms so I am doubtful I'll get any sleep. Ah the joys of owning a neurotic dog.

That reminds me of a funny story about Cali. Cali was awesome with no fears.... except of her own farts! Yes I said it.....her own farts. If she let one go, she would quickly turn around to see what that noise was and where it came from. It was a funny sight. If you were standing near her, she would look up at you with her eyes as if saying "what did you do that for!".

Then one day she must of have gotten into something as she had the farts all night long. If she moved, she farted. If she laid down she farted. Poor girl probably thought she was dying. It was so bad that she started to whimper and any movement she would let out another ripper. I had to at one time lock her in the spare room as she was farting constantly. Being the softy I was and hearing her whimpering I brought her back to bed and held her. I had to talk her to sleep where the farts seemed to have then disappeared.

Farts will always remind me of Cali - especially of the day she had the bad gas and it didn't matter what she did, a fart would come out.

Bestest Road Trip Evar

Today I went to Radium Hot Springs with friends. We left the city a little late (11 am) and the first thing that happened..... WE GOT STUCK IN TRAFFIC! It took us a good hour to get out of the city. The day was perfect - not too hot and not cold. As we arrived at the Banff Park gates we again hit traffic and it took forever to get in (ok maybe 15 minutes). Finally free to go we drove to Radium.

Sad thing... I've lived in Calgary all my life (except for my metal lapse of 8 months in Winnipeg) and have never been to the Radium Hot Springs before. It took my friend from Oklahoma and her husband to get me to go there! Ok my life is officially boring.

The hot springs were great and it only cost $6.30 to get in (including GST/PST being in BC). For a 2 hour drive that isn't bad. If you wanted you could stay in the springs all day. You might come out completely wrinkly but you can have a good day. It was very relaxing and I almost fell asleep. There are two pools there - a hot one and cold one. The hot was 39C and the cold springs was 29C. We started in the hot, moved into the cool and then back into the hot. The soothing mineral-rich warm water and scenery combined to relax my muscles and return my peace of mind.

After spending a good 2 hours in the springs we got out and went to grab something quick to eat. Radium isn't the biggest town so we stopped off at an ice cream shoppe and had a small sub.

On the drive home, I asked Sheila if she could find a moose for me as I took my camera and never really seen a moose up close. She said she'd do what she could. It was around 6:30 on our drive home and we started to see a lot of deer. I was really hoping to get my moose, but no luck.

Instead we drove around a corner and on the side of the road was this great black bear. We stopped and watched it for a bit. It was eating up dandelions like there was no tomorrow. I didn't know they ate them and wanted John to catch it so we could take it home to clean up the dandelions around town.

John made a noise and got the bear to look in our direction. That is when I got this great shot. The bear looked to be in good shape and was making a good dent in the dandelions.

Just as we were about to drive off, I spotted a cub coming out of the woods. It was cute as could be.

Then a second cub showed up! This one wasn't as adventurous as the first one but it eventually came closer to its mom too.

I wanted John to catch me a cub to take home as a Father's day gift but he chickened out and wouldn't do it. What a friend!

A lot of people had stopped and were taking pictures and wouldn't you know it there has to be fool in every crowd. People actually started to get out of their vehicles to get closer and take a picture! It would serve them right if the bear attacked them, but then the poor bear would be put down because some jackass got hurt. We were afraid that these people were going to startle the bear, it would warn the cubs and I could see one of them running onto the road and getting run over. After telling people they should really stay in their cars we drove off.

We drove a good 10 minutes until we came to a store/rest area. John went in and asked if there was a way to get a hold of a ranger as we didn't want the bears to get hurt. The store owner seemed to indicate that the mother and her cubs have been seen a lot but when he was told that people were getting out of their cars he radioed for the ranger right away. So we did our good deed for the day.

We saw another black bear on our drive but it was further in the woods and Sheila didn't stop this time (meanie!). There were cars pulled over every now and then but we didn't see any more animals. Then we came upon this wolf on the side of the road. I say it is a young wolf, John thinks it is a coyote. You be the judge.

This guy crossed the road several times and seemed to be afraid but he wasn't going very far. He seemed to want to get close to the vehicles. Again the stupid people seemed to come out of the woods and threw food out of their cars for him to eat. Where do these people come from? Wild animal = wild food NOT McDonald's! I really hate people.

Anyways I got a few good shots of him and Sheila was able to pull up beside him so I could get these great shots.

It was a very exciting drive home but I'm pooed and now off to bed to dream of bears, wolves and relaxing in the hot springs.

2009 Travel Adventure Cancelled... or Postponed

Well since it is almost the end of June it looks like my Travel Alberta trip this year has been cancelled.... or maybe just postponed. I have yet to do a short trip or day trip, especially with Snoopy. I still would like to go to some places this year, so we'll have to wait to see what happens.

My friend Sheila and I have been talking about going to Missoula, Montana as she wants to go down to Cracker Barrel and get a rocking chair. We saw them when we were in Texas in November.

I'm looking into the trip and will keep the blog updated with info as it comes available.

Procrastination, Funeral & Grief

Yesterday I went to a funeral of a lady who I had worked with in the past. We had worked together back about 10 years ago. I then found out she worked for the same company I currently am with, just at a client site. So we never really knew this until I went to the client site for a meeting and saw her there. We weren't "close" friends, more like acquaintances.

Her death seemed to have hit me hard. I think because I knew she was sick and always said I'd call her so we could catch up but never did. I guess I feel guilty about that.

She had a nice service and I needed to attend. Besides the guilt of not calling her, the service seemed to have put closure on Aunt Phyllis' death since I was not able to go out when she passed away. It also helped me in the closure of letting Cali go.

Grief can be a powerful thing and you don't know how much it really affects your life and your being until you finally get a little closure. The light at the end of the dark tunnel seems to be getting closer where I can start to feel like I can let go.

The Great Quilt Room Cleanup

Today mom and I spent about 6 hours cleaning up and re-organizing her quilt room. After about 2 years, it just wasn't working. You could not use the full cutting table as it was constantly full of half projects on the go. So we decided to re-organize and it turned out really good.

We moved the quilt books, magazines and binders off the shelf in the closet onto the bottom of the cutting table. We hardly use them but when we do, it will be easy for us to access them.

We then put all mom's projects on the shelves and labelled them so she knows what is what. It gave us more room I think.

We then cleaned up and removed an extra table around the sewing area. Now you can walk around with ease!

The counter wasn't that bad so we just tidied it up a little.

Look a place for visitors to sit! There was a chair under all that material.

A Birthday Remembrance

It would have been 11 years today that Mojave Desert California Dream "Cali" was born. This is a remembrance of her.

It was back in August 1998 when I was looking for a companion for Snoopy. We were living in the country but moving into Calgary. I had bought my first house and had a very, very long possession date. I had to wait 6 months before I took possession - November 1998. Since Snoopy was used to having company - Lakota, Raven and Sarge - I thought it best if she had a sister of her own to share experiences with in the new house. Before taking possession of the house I thought it best if Snoopy and her new sister got to know each other.

I had looked hard around Calgary for a sibling but could not find anything. I did not want a male dog as they pee on everything and I thought it best to keep with us females. My search expanded to Alberta, then Canada and I still could not find a sibling for Snoopy. The prices were incredible - close to $1,000 - and I didn't want to pay that since I got Snoopy for $250 (without papers).

At the time I was working at PanCanadian when the internet was in its infancy. My job let me to surf the net freely with no consequences (except for the naughty sites). I searched and searched but finally found a dog that needed to be rescued in California. I had no idea what it would take to get this dog but I wanted her. She was a blue ticked beagle like Snoopy - hard to find. I had also been looking at breeders and found Mojave Desert who was in California as well.

I thought I would do a good deed and get the rescue dog and when talking with the Mojave breeder, he offered to go take a look at it and see about getting the dog sent to me. I had contacted the rescue society and told them that Donald from Mojave Desert was coming to take a look at the dog for me. After a lot of time and effort, the society would not let me have the dog as I lived out of the country. I was heartbroken.

Donald knew what I was looking for and so we started talking again. He did have a beagle girl who was ready to go and after a lot of diliberation I said I'd take her. I didn't know if he was just a puppy mill breeder but put my faith in him and glad I did as I was never disappointed with the outcome.

He had indicated that she was a "little tri-colored female who is submissive but beautiful, healthy, playful and very loving". Years later she was still that way and that description fitted her to a "T".

It was August 29th that I had received notice from Donald that Cali had "passed her physical with flying colors". He had indicated that "you are going to really be happy with her. She is one of the cutest beagles you will ever see. Her head is turning a soft, light brown and she has those long floppy ears. She loves to be held, petted and carried around. She will be a great friend for your other beagle." He couldn't have said it any better.

On August 31, 1998 Mom, Ross Van Wert (a friend and co-worker from PanCanadian), Snoopy and I got in the old truck and drove to the airport. Cali was coming in on Canadian Air Cargo that evening around 8:30pm. We had to drive back to the cargo office as that is where she was to be picked up. I was excited and nervous as I didn't know what I was truly getting. It could have been a stuffed dog with 2 missing legs for all I knew.

We went to the cargo office and we were told that we had to go to the hanger where the parcels came in. So we hopped into the truck and drove off to find the hanger. Finally getting to the hanger I was so excited. I had all the paperwork and was ready to pick up my new member of the family. At that point I was told that they could not release the dog as I had to go to customs first. The person indicated that I might not be able to take her home as customs was closing in 20 minutes and sometimes they held the animals for a day. My heart fell to my stomach and I wanted to cry.

So mom quickly drove me back to the airport terminal where I had to find customs and speak with them. Ross stayed behind to check on the pup. At that point I had not even seen Cali. I walked into customs and there was no one around. It looked as if everyone had already gone for the evening and I was heartbroken. Truly ready to cry. An officer saw me and came to see if he could help. I told him my circumstances and was almost in tears. He indicated that it was late and that he doubted that I could have her tonight. Tears started falling, so he went back and spoke with his co-worker. He came back and said that he was wrong and that I just had to pay the customs on her - $44.94 and she was all mine. BUT I had to hurry as the cargo hanger closed in 10 minutes.

Mom had driven around several times until I came out and she said she almost got in trouble for parking so long waiting for me. I told her we had to hurry back and explained what had happened. We got back to the hanger and had all the official paperwork - Cali was officially mine and I could take her home.

She was a groggy little pup as she had a long day. Snoopy sniffed her, wasn't impressed and sat in the back with Ross. Mom thought she was an ugly thing but she was wrong. Cali was always a sweet, cute, loving, playful and cuddly little angel.

Snoopy and Cali became the best of friends, hardly ever fought and played all the time. Cali was a special girl who will always be in my heart forever. Remembering her aroo, her favourite toy - the green frog she carried around by the crotch in her mouth, her excited dance when you came home, to her last breath. I love and miss you my sweet little angel.

Snow on June 6th

Snow started at around 4:30 am.

Cute little snowflakes.

Snow starting to accumulate at 8am.

8am - snowfall

A nice little skiff of snow in June.

After the snow melted, we had a little hail.

Update from Parents

Well mom & dad were not abducted by aliens NOR were they sleeping in the airport for 7 days. Today I got an email from mom saying that they were in Ketchikan, Alaska and they were having a good time. Of course she asked if Paige was well first, guess I should let her out of the shed! bahaha (evil laugh). As for being abducted by aliens, she did say they weren't but some of the people on the ship were weird. Will have to get more information on that when they come home.

Their weather has been beautiful so far and apparently there was a storm last night but they both slept through it. Mom asked if I'd rock her to sleep every night.... um... NO! Sorry!

I guess they have been SHOPPING quiet a lot as I was asked to put some money on their Visa card for them. I'm scared! She also indicated that they sent a package home so when I pick up the mail if there is a package it is from them. They were unsure of the amount of room they have left in their luggage. I sure hope they didn't buy Alaska out. Mom indicated she picked up some Alaskan type material so to be prepared to sew when she gets home.

They had seen some humpback whales, dolphins and okras so far. She also mentioned there is a lot of junk in the ocean (that's sad).

I guess the lineups to get back onto the ship is quite a site - I hope they have some pictures.

I called the Alaskan Airlines to confirm they are still booked for the flight home and they should be fine.

I did warn them that there is SNOW in the forecast for this weekend, heavy snow and that I was not joking. Mom said she heard that.

I'll be bringing in all the plants I can tonight as it is supposed to also freeze, so I'm gonna try to save some plants.

The Crazy Robin

Before mom and dad went away on their vacation, I was in the basement with the dogs and we heard this thump. It was loud and consistent enough to get Paige barking. I went to see what was going on and saw that a bird had flown into the basement window. It kept flying into the window time and time again. At first I thought it was trying to kill something so I went out and checked with window well. The robin flew away when I came to investigate.

It was the first night mom and dad left. I think they must have had the following planned somehow. Starting at 4:30am the next morning that thumping sound was back. Of course Paige started barking but this time the thumping came from my window. I got up to see what it was and it was the damned robin again. It flew into the window a couple of times before I scared it off.

The next morning around the same time, the damn robin was back. It would fly into the window consistently and not stop. I would have to go to the window to scare it away. It would just fly up and sit on the fence staring down at me. It was as if the damn robin was mocking me. I then put a pillow in the window thinking that might scare it off if it came back the next day.

Well sure as anything it did come back the next day. Pillow didn't work and I was at my whits end. I went into the shed and got the snow fence out. This time I covered the whole window over. If anything I was going to stop this robin.

While putting the snow fence up, I noticed the bird had flown across the street and was attacking their basement window with as much vim and vigor as anything.

Sure as I'm typing this the next day the thumping was back. But this time it was in the other room. I had scared the bird off my window but it was now attacking the window in the other room.

Finally this morning there was no thumping. Either the robin flew into the window enough times that it killed itself or it has left.

Killer bird marks on the window.

Bored and working from home

This is my name 'VALERIE' written in Snoopy Wingding Font. Ok, yes I am bored but I'm working from home so I guess it isn't so bad. Except that I'm so anal that I'm sitting in front of my work laptop just waiting for something to happen. Oh I did a load of laundry yesterday and folded it while sitting in front of my laptop.

I do get up now and then to let the dogs outside. On the plus side I did have lunch sitting on the deck listening to the fountain and birds enjoying the lovely sun. I see I have to cut the grass tonight. We'll see how my knee holds out. Six weeks of physio and it still hurts and is swollen that I can't bend it.

Yes I'm rambling, sorry to you poor souls who are reading this (if there is anyone out there!).

I'll write my RETARDED ROBIN story probably this evening - you'll get a chuckle out of it. Well back to surfing for unusual stuff.

Quilts, Quilts and more Quilts

I know I should probably be outside enjoying this nice weather but it is really nice to have the house to myself and to be able to get a few things done without being interrupted all the time. I wanted to post and update my quilt album so here goes.

This is the first quilt I ever made. I came back from Peru and found some material that had Peruvian images on it. Thus my Peru quilt.

Dog Lap Quilt - A quick lap quilt made out of my stash of dog material. This is the second quilt I made.

Appliqued Heart Quilt - mom had appliqued all the hearts on this quilt when her and dad drove down to Ontario one year. This is my favourite quilt and stays on my bed.

Quilt from Hell. This was made in Winnipeg during the month I was waiting to sell my house and move back home. It was machine quilted back in Calgary by Sheila Mote. This quilt fits a queen size bed.

Pinwheel Quilt - I don't like the green on it but it came out OK.

Table topper made out of some charm squares. Mom has hand appliqued daisies on it.

Sunflower table runner made for Sheila P.

Sunflower table runner made for Sheila P.

Cali's Quilt - I made this for Cali when she was nothing but skin and bones. The turtle blocks were made by someone else, I just put it together.

Chain of Pastels quilt made out of 1930s reproduction material - made for Sheila P. for Christmas 2007. Machine quilted by Sheila Mote.

Pretty in Pink Quilt made for Jamie F. - Christmas 2007. Machine quilted by Sheila Mote.

Checkerboard Quilt made for John P. - Christmas 2007.

Farmyard Animals quilt made for Kim & Ted F. - my adoptive family in Texas.

Hip to be Squared Quilt kit made for Dana Swanson-Jenkins. Machine quilted by Jane Goddard.

Block of the month quilt - Garden Trails - made for Jacki. Machine quilted by Jane Goddard.

This is the hand appliqued dolphin label I made for the back of Jacki's quit.

Well they are off....

Popeye and Olive Oil should already be in Seattle now.

I dropped them off at the airport at 6am and haven't heard from them so I am assuming they caught the new flight to Seattle.

Good thing I sent my alarm (and turned it ON!) as I woke up at 3:30am expecting to hear them moving about but nothing. So I went upstairs to let Paige out and they were both sound asleep, soring like there is no tomorrow.

After dropping them off I came home, watered the flowerbed and lawn and went back to sleep. I think I was more excited for them then they were. Most likely because they were still worried they'd miss the ship.

Ahhhhh, peace and quiet for a whole week now! Plus I'm working from home. What more can a girl ask for!?!?!

Update on Parent's Trip

Mom and dad got a call from Marge who tried to get her boarding passes and found out the flight was cancelled! She called mom in a panic and of course dad flew off the handle.

Mom called Air Canada and was able to get an early flight still in time for them to catch their ship to Alaska.

It was a few tense moments and now I know for sure they won't be sleeping at all tonight. At least we get to sleep in a bit.

It will be interesting once I drop them off at the airport at 6am now.

STAY TUNED!

Last Supper

Jacki took Mom, Dad and myself out to dinner this evening before they leave on for their trip tomorrow. I am driving them to the airport to be there for 4AM tomorrow morning! They leave at 6am and fly to Seattle where they will board the Norwegian Pearl and sail off to Alaska. I wish I was going as I need a holiday very, very badly.

We went back to Jacki's place and I was snooping through some of her books and found two great quotes that really mean something to me.

THE PRESENT IS WHERE YOU ARE MEANT TO BE NOW - TOMORROW IS FOR THE FUTURE AND THE PAST IS THE PAST.

The past is gone forever and cannot be changed. Forgive yourself and others and move on. Live for the present and make it positive and wonderful. All that you are learning today can be put to good use tomorrow. Today is the first day of the rest of your life - get on with it, every moment is precious.

FREE YOURSELF OF GUILT, GO FORWARD WITH LIFE.

You cannot undo what you have done, although you can try to repair the damage. Forgive yourself and others. Guilt will fill you with anguish. What is past is past. Go forward with your life and learn from your experience to make you a better, more feeling and loving person.

If there were any two quotes that explained my persona, it would be those two.

I think my traveling Alberta trip is off this year. With the economy, the price of gas and not knowing what my job holds I think I'll be sticking close to home. I might make a few day trips though.

Dad and I were talking this morning and we got on the topic of the old house Grandma Jenkins lived in, in Drumheller. How the house did not have the front room on it when dad was growing up as that was later on when Grandma and Canada got together. Dad also was reminiscing about how he used to walk everywhere growing up. His brother Jimmy had a bike and would ride home and be home a half hour earlier than dad. Dad would get a spanking for being late, but that was because he was walking.

Not until dad traded his dog Rex for Jimmy's bike did he get around any other way than walking.

Funny guy dad!

This lovely handy work is courteously of my father. There was a mouse trap upstairs that needed to be taken down but I would always forget. So my helpful dad brought it down along with this plastic rat we had. For the longest time he would deny he had anything to do with it or acknowledge it. What a guy!

This reminds me of the best April Fools joke he played on me. I believe I was still in high school and we were living out at Chestermere. He came running down the hall with a fishnet in his hands tapping the floor along the way. This woke me up so he then came tapping into my room and told me to hold the fishnet at the headboard closest to the door. He then told me that there was a gopher in the house and he was going to get a stick to scare it out and I would catch it in the net for him.

Dirty bugger then went out into the hallway and laughed his ass off. I was groggy so thought it was believable. That was the best joke he ever played. We still laugh about it to this day. My dad the comedian.

A house struck my dad

Dad was under the deck getting some flower pots out and I took this picture with my blackberry. It looks as if the house fell on him. .....and your little dog Toto too!

First Tattoo

Well I went to my appointment I made on the weekend to get my tattoo. At first I was chicken and almost didn't go. Then I had to sit in the waiting room for a good 10 minutes and was getting more nervous as the time went by. But I stayed and met with Trevor who was the artist that was going to do the tattoo. He had the design right but the name wrong so he went and fixed that.

He set everything up and I laid down on the table. He was nice to ask if this was my first tattoo and before he started he told me what he was going to do. Outline first - he did a bit then stopped and asked if I was ok. I was and it didn't really hurt. It was more of an annoyance than anything.

Not even an hour later and I had my beautiful tattoo. I almost cried because I love it so much. Now I have my tattoo in remembrance of Cali.

I got it on my right wrist as I wanted to be able to see it daily.

Mom freaked as I knew she would but she'll get over it. Dad likes it but not the spot it is in.

OH WELL I'M HAPPY! I might have to get more now.

Trip research on old and other stuff

Well might trip research has been put on hold for a while. I still want to do it but with the economy the way it is and me not doing anything at work since December, I need to keep my money in the bank. Plus I'm needing to save money so I can get a place when Snoopy goes - hopefully not for a long, long time - but with places being SO expensive, every penny counts.

I've been dreaming of Cali a lot lately. Weird dreams where she leaves me again.

The first dream was at a cottage or on a beach/lake. It also involved a hockey rink with a huge hole at the one end. I actually think we were playing hockey on a glacier. Anyways I remember telling the next team to watch the ice as there is a few holes you have to skate around. Anyways, after coming out of the rink we heard that there was a bomb somewhere on the property or complex. First thing I thought of was Cali back at our "place" and tried to get there to get her out. It was too late as that is where the bomb was and she blew up in it. I woke up crying.

The next dream Cali was gone and I was walking to work going through the usual basement in the parking lot behind Gulf Canada Square. There was a girl who was holding a bundle but I did not notice. I walked on and then I heard her howl. I'll never forget her howl. It is ingrained in my brain and if I think about it I can hear her now. I ran back and there she was - ALIVE! She was skinny as when she died and her belly was still shaved but she had little red dots on her stomach. We were so glad to see each other and I got nothing but kisses from her. It was as if she was a little puppy again. Then I woke up. No Cali, just the memory.

I wanted to get my dreams analyzed to see why I was dreaming of her and found some explanations:

"To see the dead in your dream, forewarns that you are being influenced by negative people and are hanging around the wrong crowd. You may suffer material loss. This dream may also be a way for you to resolve your feelings with those who have passed on.

If you dream of a person who has died a long time ago, then it suggests that a current situation or relationship in you life resembles the quality of that deceased person. The dream may depict how you need to let this situation or relationship die and end it.

To see and talk with your dead parents in your dreams, represents your fears of losing them or your way of coping with the loss. You want that last opportunity to say your final good-byes to them.

To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend alive in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one."

I do terribly miss her and think of her every day. I love that little monster and always wonder that if I didn't make the choices I made - moving to Winnipeg, losing our house in Calgary - that she might still be with us.