Trip research on old and other stuff

Well might trip research has been put on hold for a while. I still want to do it but with the economy the way it is and me not doing anything at work since December, I need to keep my money in the bank. Plus I'm needing to save money so I can get a place when Snoopy goes - hopefully not for a long, long time - but with places being SO expensive, every penny counts.

I've been dreaming of Cali a lot lately. Weird dreams where she leaves me again.

The first dream was at a cottage or on a beach/lake. It also involved a hockey rink with a huge hole at the one end. I actually think we were playing hockey on a glacier. Anyways I remember telling the next team to watch the ice as there is a few holes you have to skate around. Anyways, after coming out of the rink we heard that there was a bomb somewhere on the property or complex. First thing I thought of was Cali back at our "place" and tried to get there to get her out. It was too late as that is where the bomb was and she blew up in it. I woke up crying.

The next dream Cali was gone and I was walking to work going through the usual basement in the parking lot behind Gulf Canada Square. There was a girl who was holding a bundle but I did not notice. I walked on and then I heard her howl. I'll never forget her howl. It is ingrained in my brain and if I think about it I can hear her now. I ran back and there she was - ALIVE! She was skinny as when she died and her belly was still shaved but she had little red dots on her stomach. We were so glad to see each other and I got nothing but kisses from her. It was as if she was a little puppy again. Then I woke up. No Cali, just the memory.

I wanted to get my dreams analyzed to see why I was dreaming of her and found some explanations:

"To see the dead in your dream, forewarns that you are being influenced by negative people and are hanging around the wrong crowd. You may suffer material loss. This dream may also be a way for you to resolve your feelings with those who have passed on.

If you dream of a person who has died a long time ago, then it suggests that a current situation or relationship in you life resembles the quality of that deceased person. The dream may depict how you need to let this situation or relationship die and end it.

To see and talk with your dead parents in your dreams, represents your fears of losing them or your way of coping with the loss. You want that last opportunity to say your final good-byes to them.

To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend alive in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one."

I do terribly miss her and think of her every day. I love that little monster and always wonder that if I didn't make the choices I made - moving to Winnipeg, losing our house in Calgary - that she might still be with us.